Notes From Underground - #45Singled Out

Maybe I was a sensitive child.

But I pin it all on "California Dreamin'" - the song that showed me that music didn't have to just be happy or sad, black or white. It's a song of melancholy and hope, desire and frustration, longing and self-deprecation. Though for me, it wasn't the lyrics, but the harmonies that seered themselves into my brain. The way the chorus would refuse to resolve itself in major chords, but preferred to traffic in minor ones, leaving the listener unsettled and unsure, was undoubtedly what made me fascinated with the song.

I hold the Mamas and the Papas responsible for my sincere love of music. "California Dreamin'" is the song I remember most consciously, most early in my life. There were songs I would sing along with on the radio, but none that made me feel like it did. I still don't know that I fully understand it.

The lyrics are troublesome. "I walked into a church / I passed along the way / and I got down on my knees / and I pretend to pray." Why does he pretend? Why does he bother? Is he there simply to hide from the cold, or is there something larger drawing him in? The preacher "likes the cold." Because it drives wayfaring strangers through his doors? Because it reminds him of just how far away from hell, or even from God, that he is? It's a song about compromise ("If I didn't tell her / I could leave today") and self-doubt. About questioning and bargaining. It's a song about being inherently human and young and fragile and frightened.

I know what the things are that drew me in about the song - both initially and now that I understand it a lot more. I forget how young I actually was when my mom bought me that cassette of songs that included "California Dreamin'," but I do know the song had a strange charm over me that hasn't abated over the years.

What did it for you? What pushed you into the open arms of music and never let you back out? What song, album, artist, vision, moment, etc. culled you from the crowd as one of music's select band? Most all people like music, but only some eat, sleep, breathe and devote great chunks of their waking hours to it, in one form or another. And odds are, if you're reading music blogs, you're one of those folks. So where did it start for you?

The Mamas and the Papas - "California Dreamin'"
(from If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears ; MCA ; 1966)